I'm Tired of Guilt

Okay so I went to the passion conference this weekend so probably the next few posts will be about the experience I had there but this has been on my heart for a couple weeks now and then God brought it up again at Passion, so I know I just have to share.  

So, something you should know about me, is that one of my major struggles is guilt.  I am my own worst enemy.  My parents would often not punish me because they knew I would feel so guilty about it that I would basically punish myself. 

The worst was when I got in trouble with my dad.  I would just break down.  I hated disappointing him. 

Recently, I have been struggling with guilt more than I probably should.  During winter break, I confronted a lot of my past and was filled with guilt about it.  I was so sorry of what I have done to people in the past, and I was really disappointed how I handled myself.  

Yet, this weekend at Passion Conference, Louie Giglio talked about the gospel.  He described the wrath of God as millions of pounds of concrete that God dropped on Jesus.  He said if your guilt in a porcelain cup on a small table and God dropped the millions of pounds of concrete from millions of miles up.  He said that the porcelain cup would be demolished.  There would be not even a speck or a remembrance of that guilt. 

At this thought, I got super overwhelmed.  If I hold on my guilt, it is saying Christ died for nothing.  I am telling Jesus that I am ungrateful for enduring all that pain, and all that wrath from God.   He endured it for me and by holding on to my guilt, I am telling him that that doesn’t mean anything to me.

That broke me down. 

So, I decided that my guilt is demolished, my sin is atoned for. 

I have a clean slate. 

When I came to college I really wanted a clean slate.  Yet I felt like I didn’t have one because I didn’t believe God that I had one. 

God says that His mercies are new every morning.  Therefore, I don’t have to wait for a huge milestone or move to have a clean slate.  No!! I get a clean slate every morning. 

So, God challenged me to buy a blank canvas and to hang it in a place where I could see it every morning. 

So, that every morning I reminded that today is a new day.

How can I hear God’s plans for the future, when I’m so focused on the past?

So, lets all buy a blank canvas.  Lets all remind each other when Satan tries to tempt us with guilt.  That IT IS FINISHED!!!! There is not a speck of my sin left. 

Surrender all to Jesus is necessary, even our guilt.  In the song, White Flag by Christ Tomlin He says “laying down our weapons now, we raise our white flag we surrender all to you, all for you” Today, this really struck.  The weapons we lay down can be weapons against God or against our self.  Guilt is a weapon that Satan provides for us to beat ourselves up with. 

So, today lay down your weapons, raise our white clean slate of a flag

and continually remind yourself that God’s mercies our new every morning.