Come Out of Hiding

What is your biggest fear?  Where do you run to when you feel as if you have no where else to run?

In each and every heart, we long for home.  We long for a place where our soul can be completely well.  Yet, even when you go back home and sleep in your bed, your never satisfied.  We begin to idolize comfort and control for we want to feel at home but nothing on this earth satisfies.  Before long, we run into things we can't control.  Our anxiety and fear rages for we no longer can control everything.

This is where God is calling us out of hiding.  If we idolize control, we usually run away from intimacy.  Feelings can't be controlled and so therefore we don't trust others with our heart.

I don't trust others because if I do I feel that I'm out of control.  For once I trust them, they could hurt me or damage my heart.  That is a disaster.  Yet, if I'm hiding from people, then there is a pretty good chance that I'm hiding from God.  God told me last night that my heart needed to come out of hiding.  He had my mind and my soul, He had my love, but my trust and my heart was elsewhere.

I thought it was hard for me to trust because my heart was broken.  Although there has been many agents that have tried to break my heart, my heart is maybe just chipped.  Its still whole because I haven't let it feel.  I don't let many people in, because I feel out of control.  For once I give my cares to someone else, I have lost control.  I have lost control.  

Yet, God told me that I don't give my heart to others when I care about them, instead that He holds my heart and keeps it safe.  I don't have to worry about barricading it, or dropping it or letting it go astray.
So, it all goes down to trust.

Now, why I asked you your biggest fear, is it's a great way to find your idols as well as what your not trusting God with.  Fear comes from a lack of trust in God.

Last night, my friend talked about that God died on the cross so that we wouldn't have fear and shame. He died so that we could be free!!! Free from our fears and free from shame.   So why would we hold on to shame?  Why would we live in fear?  God really wants me to face my fears.  He has recently challenged a lot of my fears.  For example, I had a fear of change, so he put me on a pine cove team that traveled across the lower half of the U.S. where for 6 weeks, everything continuously changed.  I hate trying new things.  Not only was this new but I had people on my team who pushed me to try new foods and

experiences.

Fear can never help…it can only hold you back.

I repeat Fear can never help… it can only hold you back.

Yet sometimes, fear feels like your best friend.  Something you can grasp a little tighter when you have to do something out of your comfort zone.

Yet, I ask if you were to reach the end of your life and saw that you remained in your comfort zone your whole life, how would you feel?

We are called to have a trust without borders, a faith that walks on water.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  Hebrews 12: 1-2

Let us throw off fear,  I know it's been entangling me.  It's hindered me from great experiences.  It's crazy how much food I've never tried, and how many roller coasters I've never ridden.  How many places I haven't been.  How many sleepless nights I've had.  How many days that have been filled with fear and anxiety, when they could have been filled with love and joy.  

So get tired of it!!! Lets get rid of it with God's help.  Yet first we have to trust God and give him everything and then come out of hiding and run to him.  Listen to the song "Out of Hiding" by Steffany Gretzinger. 

Yet the good thing is our faith is not our own, Jesus is the perfecter of it.  So let him perfect your faith.  We don't have to conquer our fear on our own, Jesus Christ perfects us.  

So, in short,  come out of hiding and run into his arms.

I'm Tired of Guilt

Okay so I went to the passion conference this weekend so probably the next few posts will be about the experience I had there but this has been on my heart for a couple weeks now and then God brought it up again at Passion, so I know I just have to share.  

So, something you should know about me, is that one of my major struggles is guilt.  I am my own worst enemy.  My parents would often not punish me because they knew I would feel so guilty about it that I would basically punish myself. 

The worst was when I got in trouble with my dad.  I would just break down.  I hated disappointing him. 

Recently, I have been struggling with guilt more than I probably should.  During winter break, I confronted a lot of my past and was filled with guilt about it.  I was so sorry of what I have done to people in the past, and I was really disappointed how I handled myself.  

Yet, this weekend at Passion Conference, Louie Giglio talked about the gospel.  He described the wrath of God as millions of pounds of concrete that God dropped on Jesus.  He said if your guilt in a porcelain cup on a small table and God dropped the millions of pounds of concrete from millions of miles up.  He said that the porcelain cup would be demolished.  There would be not even a speck or a remembrance of that guilt. 

At this thought, I got super overwhelmed.  If I hold on my guilt, it is saying Christ died for nothing.  I am telling Jesus that I am ungrateful for enduring all that pain, and all that wrath from God.   He endured it for me and by holding on to my guilt, I am telling him that that doesn’t mean anything to me.

That broke me down. 

So, I decided that my guilt is demolished, my sin is atoned for. 

I have a clean slate. 

When I came to college I really wanted a clean slate.  Yet I felt like I didn’t have one because I didn’t believe God that I had one. 

God says that His mercies are new every morning.  Therefore, I don’t have to wait for a huge milestone or move to have a clean slate.  No!! I get a clean slate every morning. 

So, God challenged me to buy a blank canvas and to hang it in a place where I could see it every morning. 

So, that every morning I reminded that today is a new day.

How can I hear God’s plans for the future, when I’m so focused on the past?

So, lets all buy a blank canvas.  Lets all remind each other when Satan tries to tempt us with guilt.  That IT IS FINISHED!!!! There is not a speck of my sin left. 

Surrender all to Jesus is necessary, even our guilt.  In the song, White Flag by Christ Tomlin He says “laying down our weapons now, we raise our white flag we surrender all to you, all for you” Today, this really struck.  The weapons we lay down can be weapons against God or against our self.  Guilt is a weapon that Satan provides for us to beat ourselves up with. 

So, today lay down your weapons, raise our white clean slate of a flag

and continually remind yourself that God’s mercies our new every morning.

I'm tired of the falling for the worlds promises

Valentines day is coming up…and the world says that if you don't have a valentine, then you better become very aware of you singleness.

The world says that it's sad to be single.  I mean sin is the first three letters of the word.   The world says that it's best if you rich.   It's great if you never have to worry about money.  They say that your really living if you have a nice husband, nice house, nice car, kids you love, and a successful job, as if your not living now!

Yet, why do we fall for the promises?  Why is it that when I watch a romantic movie; it creates a desire for me to have those kinds of relationships? They seem to say that if I just wait long enough, or have a  drastic makeover that someday my prince will come.  Yet, I find myself sad, when I don't find Chris Pine with a dozen roses at my door.

This reminds me of a story:

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”

“Which ones?” he inquired.

Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

(Matthew 19:16-26)

Now when I read this verse I always find myself comparing myself to the rich young ruler.  I ask myself if I would be willing to give away all my things.  I don't know if I would do that and then I freak out and get all anxious. 

Yet today I thought of it from Jesus's perspective.  He just offered a guy infinite life and the guy choose something that is finite. This rich guy fell for the world's promises.

Now the question is will we?

In a world, where nothing is certain. Man, I hate it.  I'm one of those people that just like to know what's up, whether it's good or bad; I just like to know.  I hate not knowing things. 

Yet.  There is one thing that we can trust.  God is faithful.  I'm reading this book that goes through different names for God and this one is Emet Elohim Emet meaning faithful and true.  The book later listed words that applied to this area of God's character: steadfast, firm, steady, true, certain, sure, unmovable, trustworthy, established, honest, affirmed, loyal, amen, constant, dependable, verified, reliable, committed, secure. 

Wow!! That's quite a great list.  So in a world where moths come, things rust and thieves break in and destroy.  In a world of identity theft, confusion, and drama.  We can know and recognize that one thing will never change.  God's promises are true.  He will always love us and even when we fail, His love will remain.  

So, lets get filled with the promise of God, so that we never have to fall for the world's promises ever again. 

I'm tired of the desire to have it all together.

This past weekend, I was a leader at a Dnow.  At this specific Dnow, there was a hour straight of just worship.  Often during worship,  I find myself distracted about what God wants me to do or change or live out.  Does He want me to go pray with this person? Does He want me to give more money in the offering plate?  Does He want me to go to a different church?

With these questions, always come fear.  The fear of failure.  I talked about that in a previous post.  Yet, I started crying the other night at Dnow, because I was just so tired of this.  I'm so tired of worrying about not getting God's will right, or failing.  I want to have it all together and figured out, but I found and find myself overwhelmed by the fact that I didn't know if it was God's voice asking me to do these things.

To my surprise, God didn't say…make sure you do better next time.  Make sure you don't mess up.  Make sure your always perfect in discerning my voice.  He said "Rest in me and you will know me.  Spend sometime quietly reflecting Me, then your discernment will increase.  The answers to those questions are not the solution, I am.  For I am the one that can hold you together.  This gives Me glory."


But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

His power is made perfect in our weakness.  So there is a time for trials, there is a time for famine, there is a time for battle.  For these are the precious moments when God can put us together.  

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

This is my one of my life verses, yet I have just discovered an amazing new way to apply it.  Trials are when God can put us together and isn't that beautiful.  

Below is a song called We fall apart by we as human and it's an amazing song. 

Consequently this weekend, I was able to share with girls my previous struggles and how God has helped me overcome.  God got glory through my imperfection; how beautifully broken we are. 

One night  God gave me this spoken word, that just seems to fit:

"Hello dear 

Don't be afraid to fail

I'm here as you shed that tear

And you know what I'll never bail

You don't have to have it all together 

Because I'm holding you all together 

And you don't have to worry about me because we are forever

Peace I give to you

Peace I impart

For I am the one holds your heart 

I'm here don't you cry

For I'm am here to give you new eyes

So can't you see 

That your part is over and done

Focus on enjoying the day

Not worrying about the setting sun

Let it go, let go the control

For you need not carry that burden anymore

Embrace the vulnerable 

Let me in I'll be your support 

Let me in my darling 

For burden is light 

I'll show you the way 

Even give you new sight 

The fear, the pain 

Leave it all behind

Stop focusing on the past 

And hitting rewind

For today is new and worth the living

For you have a whole lot more worth giving

Wow how amazing you are Lord how amazing

If God is for me then who can be against me....

I'm tired of dread 

I'm tired of what ifs

Fear doesn't have to rule

Satan can't win this fight

And he won't even with all his might 

For you have risin from the grave 

And my soul you have saved 

The war over my heart is done 

Now he trying to ruin the race I run 

For the prince of darkness gives fear

But I know that God is near 

That he sees my tears 

He comforts but then wins

He doesn't just comfort but he fixs the problem

It geets to the root 

And for me he roots

For he is on my side

And he is the lifter of my head 

Enough said

He Is my defender

And life may bend 

But I won't break 

Because I have a God 

That won't forsake

I have a God who won't let me be 

For he as grabbed my heart and take a hold of me.

My life, Satan no isn't yours or take

Neither is my heart yours to break 

So back off fear 

For my God is near!!"

Wow!!! Jesus is my perfection.  Jesus has already won the war!!!  So, why focus on my failures, and guilt trip myself when I'm not perfect, when I have a God who has already defeated everything?

So, today relish in the beauty of falling apart, for we have a God who is holding us together.  We may struggle and have numerous of trials, yet we must never forget that God has already won.  Therefore, it's all about His glory and how He is teaching us to grow.  

If we can believe this truth, I believe God will shine more and more as we learn the beauty of falling apart.  

I'm tired of idoltary

So, I decided to start a series of I'm tired of…. I feel as Christians we may begin to hate our sin but it isn't until we make up our mind to allow God to get rid of it that the bondage starts to fade away.  So I encourage you to comment or let me know, if you have a topic you want me to touch on.  I would love suggestions.  It just has to be something your tired of… I hope you don't say my blog…lol JK!!! ;)

So today I'm going to introduce the concept of idolatry.

I know this is kinda a deep topic to start off with, but God gave me an insight this morning and I just had to blog about it.

So, I feel like when we picture idolatry; we may think of a man bowing down to a golden statue. But an idol is anything that you worship besides God.  The definition of worship, according to google, is the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration of a deity. Some synonyms are exaltation and reverence.

I don't know about you, but I have worshiped the television a couple of times.  I love to watch TV shows and there are nothing wrong with the TV itself.  But when I start to give it more time than I do God and give it more praise than I do God. Then, it becomes a problem.

For in the old testament times, a major form of worship was the sacrifices that they would give to God before the alter.  For more information read the book of leviticus.  Leviticus is basically a guide to how to worship God.  But in short, God would ask them for the best of their possessions to sacrifice to Him on the author.

If the offering is a burnt offering from the herd, you are to offer a male without defect.You must present it at the entrance to the tent of meeting so that it will be acceptable to the Lord.  You are to lay your hand on the head of the burnt offering, and it will be accepted on your behalf to make atonement for you. You are to slaughter the young bull before theLord, and then Aaron’s sons the priests shall bring the blood and splash it against the sides of the altar at the entrance to the tent of meeting. (Levitucus 1:3-5)

I find it interesting that in the member of the tribes of Israel, their herd was their livelihood. 

So, what are we giving the best of our possessions too?  What about the best of our time? How bout the best of our energy?

It makes me sick to think that sometimes I will watch TV for hours on end and then when it comes time to do my quiet time I have a lack of motivation.

Yet, there is encouragement.  God showed me something this morning.

So, if you know anything about me, you may know that my dad is my best friend.

My dad and I are really really close.  I tell him everything…yes I even tell him about who I like.

Anyways, college has been a little bit hard for me because I miss him so so much.

So, anyone that has missed someone can understand that you tend to be drawn to other people and things that remind you of him.  I find myself longing to spend time with these people because they remind me of my dad and it helps me when I miss him.

Yet I realized…these people aren't him.  Nor will they ever be him.

Don't we do this to God?  We spend time with people and do things that aren't him and could never come close to who He is.

We are just getting a replacement that can't even come close to who he is.

I find it encouraging to know that there is a God that is so great and so amazing that we nothing can even compare or come close to his presence and his love.