El Ro-I

Oh wow…so in the book that I have been reading "Knowing God by Name" by Mary A. Kassian, this week is about the intimacy of God.

This morning we went over the name El Ro-I, which means "God sees me"

It was just so perfect because God showed me something very similar at Passion.

In the book, it talks about Hagar in the bible in the book of Genesis 16.  Sarai told Hagar to sleep with Abram so that Sarai could have a son through Hagar, because Sarai was barren.  Yet, when Hagar got pregnant, Sarai got jealous.  Hagar so tired of the jealousy ran away and ran through the desert.  She was tired and thirsty in the desert and God found mercy on her and provided water out of a rock.  This is when Hagar calls God El Ro-I, she later named her son Ishmael, which means "God hears" (Kassain).

When I was at passion, God reveled to me a similar principle.  As I was worshiping God showed me a picture of myself praying to Him kneeling by my bedside when I was younger.  He was showing me that He saw me then.  Then, I began to recall all the prayers I prayed when I was hurting and calling out to God.  He showed me that He was saw me then too.  He saw me every time. He was there every time.

God saw me every time I was hurting, and so I got this overwhelming feeling that those times were not wasted.  God saw me, He saw my hurt, and He saw my pain, therefore they were never wasted.

Then the verse,  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28  

God sees us, that is why all things work together for the good, because God sees us and He knows us and therefore He loves us so He works everything to come to our good.

In fact the verse before it says "And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." Romans 8:27

Our bad times were never wasted.  Oh what joy this brings me.  I cry every time I think about it.  The God of the universe knows my name, he knows the hairs on my head (Kassain).

He knows my whole heart, the good the bad and the ugly, and yet He loves me the same.  

Lord, How grateful are we.

Take a moment to dwell on the next few verses:

Romans 8 continues to say: "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:37-39)

"She named the Lord who spoke to her: The God Who Sees, for she said "For have I really seen here the One who sees me?"That is why she named the spring, "A Well of the Living One Who Sees Me." Genesis 16:13-14

"He who planted an ear, does He not hear? He who formed an eye, does He not see?" Psalm 94:9

"The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him" 2 Chronicles 16:9

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you. Pslam 139: 1-18 

Lord, show us your glory.

I feel like we often misunderstand who God is.

Yes, God is loving and yes God is our friend but He is also Holy, and Glorious.

I'm reading through this book called knowing God and it talks about God's names.  Many of his names have to do with this awesome and fear-invoking Glory.  His names describe him as a Lord of Hosts, meaning a God of angel armies, King of Kings, Everlasting Light, and Holiest of Holies.

These names don't describe a wimpy God, no they describe a God, who is powerful and mighty and righteous.

This should not discourage us; this should only encourage us.  We have a God that doesn't just love us, but is powerful enough to do something about His love.

Have you ever tried to comfort someone you love when they are sad?  We all have, and we all end up saying something along the lines of, "I wish there was something I could do"

Yet, isn't it great that we have a God who can actually do something, and also has our best interest at heart?

I often wonder why I don't focus on his Holy nature more often; I guess because I don't want to have an unhealthy dread of God's power, yet it is biblical to fear him.   According to Mary A. Kassian, "to fear God means to be ever aware of His all-pervasive presence, conscious of my absolute need for Him, mindful of my responsibility to follow His way, determined to obey Him, cautious of offending Him, and overwhelmed in amazement and  gratitude by His incredible goodness and grace" So, to fear God isn't negative; it just makes the gospel so much sweeter.

God is holy, set apart and glorious, yet He chooses to be an intimate father who knows our name.

Wow, how precious is that glorious paradox.

This also puts things into perspective.  When I was at Passion Conference,  God reveled to me a glimpse of His glory.  He showed me that He has a tangible glory, I felt it in my chest.  Then, I saw a picture of a throne room and I was a great distance away from Him. Yet, I was in His presence and welcome into the throne room.

Then, I began to think.  As a person who has access into the very throne room of God, how does this change my life?  Then, I thought about how if a king were to send you anywhere, you would have great power because all you would have to do in the face of opposition is name drop. You would say well the King sent me, and that would shut the other side up.

So, as followers of Jesus.  God gives us the Royal seal on what He sends and calls us to do and then when opposition comes we have the privilege to name drop.

This is why we sing about his Great and Holy Name, because in His Name we have the power to defeat spiritual and physical opposition.

Moses asked God to show him his glory.  Moses never got to see God's face, because if He did he would drop dead, but God allowed him to witness a huge part of His glory so huge that Moses face shined after talking with God.

So, today lets ask God to show us His glory, and let our face shine.

Today lets name drop when we are faced with the enemy, because we have access to a Mighty God.

Let us let go of fear, distrust, and pride step by step, as we see more and more the Lord of Hosts.

Praise the Lord, his Name is great and greatly to be praised.

Lord, show us your glory

I Am Tired of Poor Eyesight

So, today I am going to be honest with you.  God hasn't exactly told me what He wants me to do with my life.  He hasn't because He wants me to trust Him.  He wants me to trust that His ways and higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than my thoughts.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

In a sense though, this breeds jealousy.  I have started to comparing my aspirations to the aspirations of others or my calling to theirs and I am jealous.  Yuck, I can't even believe that that statement was from my heart.

I want an amazing God-breathed story.  I want a calling that is divine and perfect for me.  Yet, I don't know why I don't trust God and understand that I'm not going to be disappointed when He gives it to me.

God formed me and made me in my womb.  He had designed me and given me gifts so that I can live a life of his calling.  He has ignited my heart with passions that will help drive me in my callings.  So why would I be dissapointed?

The only reason I would be disappointed is if I had the wrong goals.  It would be if I had the wrong dreams, the wrong vision.

God has made it clear to me that He will not reveal what I supposed to do with my life, until He gives me new sight.  How can I see his plan or see the future with poor eyesight?

So, daily He is removing the dust in my eye and I am sad to say it hurts.

Daily, He is showing me that I am expecting the world to satisfy my heart in areas that only He can satisfy me.

Daily, He is showing me how narrow my vision is, and how insanely I am focused on today, when He wants me focused on tomorrow.

My new eyes will come only from a daily surrender so that the Lord can do Lasik on me.

I have poor eyesight physically not just spiritually.  I have to wear contacts or glasses everyday.  Sometimes they hurt really really bad, because my natural eyes doesn't want pieces of plastic on them, even if they allow me to see better.

Lasik hurts even worse, as so I am told, but later it proves to be a huge blessing.

Isn't that the same thing that happens when God corrects our vision.  Our old self hurts and rejects the new, even though God is giving us new vision that will help us.

So, if you are anything like me and you want to have guidance for the future, maybe God wants to give you new sight first.

Let's fight the pain together, for if God is God, then His vision will be truly worth it.

Special Edition: Through the seasons, I am rooted in Christ.

Molly Wilson, one of the girls in my sorority, gave the devotional on wednesday night at our sorority meeting.  I thought it was amazing and God-breathed, so I asked her to type it up so I could share it with y'all.


Molly:  I was frustrated, weeks prior. Yet, a peace came over my heart that could have only been of the Lord. Now, I felt as if the rug had been pulled out from underneath me. I didn't understand what God was trying to do. I like to meet Jesus outside, so I went down by the water to my favorite picnic table. I was journaling, trying to be real with God, telling him I was mad and I was looking for rest. As I was writing, leaves started falling on my journal. When I lifted my eyes up to the trees over my head, God gave me clarity…brilliant clarity. There was no audible voice, but I heard him somehow, like in my heart.

He whispered to me. "Molls, this tree is in a season. It is losing things, changing, becoming more beautiful in a different way…and soon it is going to be completely bare. But in every season that this tree goes through, its roots don't change. It stays rooted in the same thing. And even though no one cares about this tree, it's just a tree, I continue to sustain it; I give it life and what it needs every single day. 

Molly, beloved, why is this not synonymous to you? You are in a season! You are definitely losing things, you're changing, becoming more beautiful in a different way…and right now you feel completely raw and bare. But even in this season, daughter, your roots do not change! You are rooted in my love and I breathe my life into you every single day. I continue to sustain you and give you what you need. And guess what? Just like this tree, you WILL bloom again. This season will pass. But even then, you will stay rooted in me."

Kenady: Wow….Praise the Lord, for his precious insight.

Molly: I have the phrase "more than birds" written on my hand because Matthew 6:26 says "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father provides for them. Are you not of more value than they?" No one cares about the birds, no one even gives a thought to wonder if they have been taken care of. But the Lord provides for them. How much more does God care for his own children? Ezekiel 34:26 says, "I will bless my people and their homes surrounding my holy hill. In the proper season I will send the showers they need. There will be showers of blessing." God is faithful to give us exactly what we need when we need it, he knows our seasons, and he understands. Through the seasons, we are rooted in Christ and his unfathomable love.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete will all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." - Ephesians 3:16-19

Kenady: So, I don't know what season this finds you in? Yet, find encouragement that no matter if you feel bare or you feel fruitful know that there is one thing that remains. God's love.

"Blessed is the one

    who does not walk in step with the wicked

or stand in the way that sinners take

    or sit in the company of mockers,

2 

but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

    and who meditates on his law day and night.

3 

That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

    which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither—

    whatever they do prospers." (Psalm 1: 1-3) emphasis added

I'm Tired of Guilt

Okay so I went to the passion conference this weekend so probably the next few posts will be about the experience I had there but this has been on my heart for a couple weeks now and then God brought it up again at Passion, so I know I just have to share.  

So, something you should know about me, is that one of my major struggles is guilt.  I am my own worst enemy.  My parents would often not punish me because they knew I would feel so guilty about it that I would basically punish myself. 

The worst was when I got in trouble with my dad.  I would just break down.  I hated disappointing him. 

Recently, I have been struggling with guilt more than I probably should.  During winter break, I confronted a lot of my past and was filled with guilt about it.  I was so sorry of what I have done to people in the past, and I was really disappointed how I handled myself.  

Yet, this weekend at Passion Conference, Louie Giglio talked about the gospel.  He described the wrath of God as millions of pounds of concrete that God dropped on Jesus.  He said if your guilt in a porcelain cup on a small table and God dropped the millions of pounds of concrete from millions of miles up.  He said that the porcelain cup would be demolished.  There would be not even a speck or a remembrance of that guilt. 

At this thought, I got super overwhelmed.  If I hold on my guilt, it is saying Christ died for nothing.  I am telling Jesus that I am ungrateful for enduring all that pain, and all that wrath from God.   He endured it for me and by holding on to my guilt, I am telling him that that doesn’t mean anything to me.

That broke me down. 

So, I decided that my guilt is demolished, my sin is atoned for. 

I have a clean slate. 

When I came to college I really wanted a clean slate.  Yet I felt like I didn’t have one because I didn’t believe God that I had one. 

God says that His mercies are new every morning.  Therefore, I don’t have to wait for a huge milestone or move to have a clean slate.  No!! I get a clean slate every morning. 

So, God challenged me to buy a blank canvas and to hang it in a place where I could see it every morning. 

So, that every morning I reminded that today is a new day.

How can I hear God’s plans for the future, when I’m so focused on the past?

So, lets all buy a blank canvas.  Lets all remind each other when Satan tries to tempt us with guilt.  That IT IS FINISHED!!!! There is not a speck of my sin left. 

Surrender all to Jesus is necessary, even our guilt.  In the song, White Flag by Christ Tomlin He says “laying down our weapons now, we raise our white flag we surrender all to you, all for you” Today, this really struck.  The weapons we lay down can be weapons against God or against our self.  Guilt is a weapon that Satan provides for us to beat ourselves up with. 

So, today lay down your weapons, raise our white clean slate of a flag

and continually remind yourself that God’s mercies our new every morning.

I am tired of the shying away from confidence.

Today I'm specifically talking to us, Christians about the concept of humility.  I'm tired of shying away from confidence, in order to be "humble".  I'm tired of never being able to say that I'm beautiful, because it could be perceived as pride.  I'm tired of it.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.  This is a common phrase that picked up.  Yet, why are we called to be humble.  What is the reason for it?

Well, primarily the reason for we are called to be humble is because pride is like making ourselves God.   God is the all powerful, almighty creator and the King of Kings.  If we put ourselves above God, we are extremely mistaken.  I feel like those of us who struggle with pride, like me, we know who we are and we eagerly seek to adjust this mindset.  For, we are not God.

The second reason we are called to be humble, is because it says that Jesus came to serve not to be served.  The King of Kings came to serve not to be served.  That is so crazy and yet it's true.  So, we are called to be like him and serve others.

Yet there is the misconception that comes into play.  Yes, we are supposed to love God first, others second, and ourselves third in order to have Joy.  Don't get me wrong here.

Yet some people take this concept as if we are supposed to act like we don't exist.  Humility is not humiliation.

Yet the command that Jesus says is "Love your neighbor as yourself", and one of my friends pointed out to me once, that we can't truly love our neighbor unless we know what is like to love ourselves.

In one of my favorite books Divergent by Veronica Roth she says "it's impossible to have real friendship when no one feels like they can accept help or even talk about themselves.

Wow….now before you jump on me just think about it a second.

The God of a the universe created you.  Isn't it an insult to him if you hate yourself? It gives him glory if you love yourself in the perspective that He created you.  If we love ourselves, and take pride in ourselves, thinking it's somewhat of our doing than we are wrong.  Yet if we recognize that God has created us, loving ourselves is the only thing that could be right.

I am a songwriter.  The other day I got to record my songs and watch them come to life.  I can't describe to you how great that makes me feel.  I love my songs.  I created them.  I'm proud of them.

So, if I, a feeble human, delight in my creation.  How much greater does God delight in His.

"For we are God's Handiwork created in Christ Jesus Ephesians 2:10 NIV
"For we are God's Masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus Ephesians 2:10 NLT
"For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesu for good works Ephesians 2:10 ESV

I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed substance, in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.  Psalm 139:14-16

Wow, I love this verse because it shows how involved the creator was in forming me.  In the creation story,  all of creation was spoke into existence yet when God created Adam. He breathed life into him.

As a girl, this gives me confidence to know that I am loved even on single awareness day.  I know that I can be confident,
because God gave me gifts and talents.  I know that without Him I am nothing, but with Him I can be something.  So, I want to cherish the gifts God is given me.  I want to learn to love others, because I can truly love myself.

So, today, Let us walk with confidence, for the truth is:

We are loved
We are beautiful
The Lord thinks precious thoughts about us.
He dances with us
He fulfills our every need
He delights in us

And In his eyes:
You are worth it
You are spotless
There is no stain on you
You are a catch

You are exquisite
You are desired
You are cherished
You are no failure
You are no mistake
You are no klutz
You are no dork
He delights in your flaws
He sees your weaknesses as places to grow and learn

He leaves us speechless
He quiets us with his love
He serenades us
He cradles us
He blesses us
We are his creation
He longs to spend time with me


He wore a crown of thorns, so I could wear a crown of flowers.

I am worth dying for.

"You are altogether beautiful darling; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7

I'm tired of the falling for the worlds promises

Valentines day is coming up…and the world says that if you don't have a valentine, then you better become very aware of you singleness.

The world says that it's sad to be single.  I mean sin is the first three letters of the word.   The world says that it's best if you rich.   It's great if you never have to worry about money.  They say that your really living if you have a nice husband, nice house, nice car, kids you love, and a successful job, as if your not living now!

Yet, why do we fall for the promises?  Why is it that when I watch a romantic movie; it creates a desire for me to have those kinds of relationships? They seem to say that if I just wait long enough, or have a  drastic makeover that someday my prince will come.  Yet, I find myself sad, when I don't find Chris Pine with a dozen roses at my door.

This reminds me of a story:

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”

“Which ones?” he inquired.

Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

(Matthew 19:16-26)

Now when I read this verse I always find myself comparing myself to the rich young ruler.  I ask myself if I would be willing to give away all my things.  I don't know if I would do that and then I freak out and get all anxious. 

Yet today I thought of it from Jesus's perspective.  He just offered a guy infinite life and the guy choose something that is finite. This rich guy fell for the world's promises.

Now the question is will we?

In a world, where nothing is certain. Man, I hate it.  I'm one of those people that just like to know what's up, whether it's good or bad; I just like to know.  I hate not knowing things. 

Yet.  There is one thing that we can trust.  God is faithful.  I'm reading this book that goes through different names for God and this one is Emet Elohim Emet meaning faithful and true.  The book later listed words that applied to this area of God's character: steadfast, firm, steady, true, certain, sure, unmovable, trustworthy, established, honest, affirmed, loyal, amen, constant, dependable, verified, reliable, committed, secure. 

Wow!! That's quite a great list.  So in a world where moths come, things rust and thieves break in and destroy.  In a world of identity theft, confusion, and drama.  We can know and recognize that one thing will never change.  God's promises are true.  He will always love us and even when we fail, His love will remain.  

So, lets get filled with the promise of God, so that we never have to fall for the world's promises ever again.