Come Out of Hiding

What is your biggest fear?  Where do you run to when you feel as if you have no where else to run?

In each and every heart, we long for home.  We long for a place where our soul can be completely well.  Yet, even when you go back home and sleep in your bed, your never satisfied.  We begin to idolize comfort and control for we want to feel at home but nothing on this earth satisfies.  Before long, we run into things we can't control.  Our anxiety and fear rages for we no longer can control everything.

This is where God is calling us out of hiding.  If we idolize control, we usually run away from intimacy.  Feelings can't be controlled and so therefore we don't trust others with our heart.

I don't trust others because if I do I feel that I'm out of control.  For once I trust them, they could hurt me or damage my heart.  That is a disaster.  Yet, if I'm hiding from people, then there is a pretty good chance that I'm hiding from God.  God told me last night that my heart needed to come out of hiding.  He had my mind and my soul, He had my love, but my trust and my heart was elsewhere.

I thought it was hard for me to trust because my heart was broken.  Although there has been many agents that have tried to break my heart, my heart is maybe just chipped.  Its still whole because I haven't let it feel.  I don't let many people in, because I feel out of control.  For once I give my cares to someone else, I have lost control.  I have lost control.  

Yet, God told me that I don't give my heart to others when I care about them, instead that He holds my heart and keeps it safe.  I don't have to worry about barricading it, or dropping it or letting it go astray.
So, it all goes down to trust.

Now, why I asked you your biggest fear, is it's a great way to find your idols as well as what your not trusting God with.  Fear comes from a lack of trust in God.

Last night, my friend talked about that God died on the cross so that we wouldn't have fear and shame. He died so that we could be free!!! Free from our fears and free from shame.   So why would we hold on to shame?  Why would we live in fear?  God really wants me to face my fears.  He has recently challenged a lot of my fears.  For example, I had a fear of change, so he put me on a pine cove team that traveled across the lower half of the U.S. where for 6 weeks, everything continuously changed.  I hate trying new things.  Not only was this new but I had people on my team who pushed me to try new foods and

experiences.

Fear can never help…it can only hold you back.

I repeat Fear can never help… it can only hold you back.

Yet sometimes, fear feels like your best friend.  Something you can grasp a little tighter when you have to do something out of your comfort zone.

Yet, I ask if you were to reach the end of your life and saw that you remained in your comfort zone your whole life, how would you feel?

We are called to have a trust without borders, a faith that walks on water.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."  Hebrews 12: 1-2

Let us throw off fear,  I know it's been entangling me.  It's hindered me from great experiences.  It's crazy how much food I've never tried, and how many roller coasters I've never ridden.  How many places I haven't been.  How many sleepless nights I've had.  How many days that have been filled with fear and anxiety, when they could have been filled with love and joy.  

So get tired of it!!! Lets get rid of it with God's help.  Yet first we have to trust God and give him everything and then come out of hiding and run to him.  Listen to the song "Out of Hiding" by Steffany Gretzinger. 

Yet the good thing is our faith is not our own, Jesus is the perfecter of it.  So let him perfect your faith.  We don't have to conquer our fear on our own, Jesus Christ perfects us.  

So, in short,  come out of hiding and run into his arms.

You Are What You Think!!

You are….I am??

I began this summer plagued with anxiety.  My feelings and thoughts got so muddled that my identity was lost.  It got so bad that I was going to read a book on identity.

My thoughts were like this:

Kenady, what are you doing? why do you feel this way? Are you crazy? Just stop feeling this way. What if I make the wrong choice? Is God still for me if I make the wrong choice?  I want to be on God's side but what if I visit the wrong church today and then hear the wrong message and then set back my growth process?  

Who am I?  I don't know who I am!! Am I a beaver? a lion? some people think I am an otter, am I?

If you think I'm exaggerating, then think again.

My identity was and still sometimes is in the choices that I make.  This made every decision super stressful and every choice defined me.  I, then, took my powerful mind to Pine Cove where we take this quiz about personalities and that one quiz rattled my insecurities, since how other people defined me wasn't definitive.  I couldn't tell who I was because I wasn't basing my identity on truth rather on how I felt.

If I felt as if no one loved me, I became unlovable.  If someone told me I was an otter, when I took the test and got beaver, I would doubt my test taking skills and my discernment of who I was.

You are what you think so…

I was inadequate 

I was crazy

I was insecure

I was confused

I was broken

Then when camp started, I was worried about how people would think about me.  I didn't want to get disciplined, or in trouble.  I wanted others to see the real me so I ironically strived to be the me I thought I could be instead of just being who I was.  Yet, slowly the real me just came out and some ugliness with it.

This whole time I was swimming on the surface where as deep down there was sin and it was ugly.  This sin is selfishness.  So, the very person who didn't want to get confronted with discipline, got talked to.

Yet ironically, it took a humbling to boost my worth in my self.  For the words of wisdom and edification broke me.  Then, my thoughts turned to self-hate.  I started thinking of all the bad things that happened and the bad things in me.

I later was told that God disciplines those He loves and that deep down there was a mighty warrior inside me and that it just was going to take great care and discipline, so that I could reach my full potential.

So, with that my thoughts starting thinking of the gifts that God had given me and the love for others I had in my heart, and that I didn't want my selfishness to get in the way of letting others see how much and how deeply I care about them.

So my thoughts instead of focusing on me began to focus on others.  Which freed my mind up, so that I could love and serve and not hear those lies from the enemy.

You are what you think…so why not think truth?

For now I know with Christ in me that...

I am loved 

I am strong

I am cherished

I am transparent

I am capable 

I am a good friend 

I am wise

I am free to be me

I am a women of God.  

Broken Hallelujah

So, I am going to be honest.  Life has been hard lately. I am taking 19 hours in school and I work 3 hours a week.  I am also very involved in my sorority.  Yet, I am a social butterfly, so I try to keep up with all my friends and be apart of the social scene in my school.  

So, life is stressful…that is probably why I have so many posts about fear, anxiety, stress and worries because God has been teaching me a lot specifically in that area, because I need it. 

Well, in the previous post, I told you that I have been reading the book, "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson.  Well, He said something that is very profound and it inspired this post.  

He said, "Worship is forgetting what's wrong with you and remembering what's right with God"(Batterson).  

Wow… I believe that is so true.  A lot of the time I focus on my stress and how I can remove it.  I focus on what I need to get done, or maybe what I need to cut out of my life to make it less stressful.  Instead, I should focus on how great God is and how blessed I am to be surrounded by so many great people and opportunities.  

I find it a lot more enjoyable when I choose to enjoy my busy life rather being stressed about my busy life.  

So…I don't know about you but I am tired of complaining. 

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people" Philippians 2: 14-15

I want to shine like bright lights, some translations say like stars in the sky. I want to shine, but that requires praising rather than complaining.  

I think that means we have to praise the Lord, even when time gets tough.  We have to focus on how great God is instead of how messed up we are, like David did. David was pursued by Saul, and he had to flee and live a life on the run even though God promised him that one day would be king.  While, many of David's songs were outcries of his sorrow and sadness they always end with a look to God and who He is. 

Psalm 55

Listen to my prayer, O God,

do not ignore my plea;

2hear me and answer me.

My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught

3because of what my enemy is saying,

because of the threats of the wicked;

for they bring down suffering on me

and assail me in their anger.

4My heart is in anguish within me;

the terrors of death have fallen on me.

5Fear and trembling have beset me;

horror has overwhelmed me.

6I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!

I would fly away and be at rest.

7I would flee far away

and stay in the desert;^c

8I would hurry to my place of shelter,

far from the tempest and storm.”...

12If an enemy were insulting me,

I could endure it;

if a foe were rising against me,

I could hide.

13But it is you, a man like myself,

my companion, my close friend,

14with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship

at the house of God,

as we walked about

among the worshipers...

16As for me, I call to God,

and the Lord saves me.

17Evening, morning and noon

I cry out in distress,

and he hears my voice.

18He rescues me unharmed

from the battle waged against me,

even though many oppose me.

19God, who is enthroned from of old,

who does not change—

he will hear them and humble them,

because they have no fear of God...

22Cast your cares on the Lord

and he will sustain you;

he will never let

the righteous be shaken.

23But you, God, will bring down the wicked

into the pit of decay;

the bloodthirsty and deceitful

will not live out half their days.

But as for me, I trust in you.

So right now.  Let us choose to worship God.  Let us choose to focus on how amazing He is.  

He is just. 

He is mighty.

He is as fierce as lion, but as gentle as a lamb.

He is compassionate.

He is faithful. He will never leave us and forsake us.

He loves us enough to sacrifice His only son.

God gives us grace, when we don't deserve it.

God gives us mercy, so that we don't have to endure what we do deserve.

God pursues us and never gives up on us.

God created us in His image.

He is the living water.

He is healer. 

He is patient, oh so patient with stubborn Kenady.

He is a loving father.

He is a loving husband.

He is a loving friend.

He holds me. 

He is the song in my heart.

He is everything good. 

He is everything lovely.

He is everything joyful.

His love will always remain.

His love will never fail.

His love will never retreat, never surrender.

His love can move mountains.

His power can create in one breath. 

His name is above all names.

In His name is every victory.

So, through this season, let us choose to trust in His unstoppable power, unimaginable goodness, and His never failing love.

Lord, I Need You

So, It's the beginning of the week and I just wanted to encourage all y'all out there.

I'm not going to lie and say that last week was wonderful.  It was really hard for me.  Although I'm glad to be back at college, because I love my friends and my classes.  I have been a little overwhelmed.

I have been concentrating on the storms of this life and worrying about how I'm going to get it all done.  Yet, God showed me something today.

One of my favorite bible stories is the story when Peter walks on water.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.  Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God. 

Matthew 14:27-33

I realized that I have been stressed out because I have been counting the waves rather than directing my gaze to God.  

I have been so consumed by the things that I had to do, and so depressed by the fact that it seems like there is just NO WAY that I could get ALL of this done.  

Yet in this story,  God makes the IMPOSSIBLE, POSSIBLE!!!  

Peter walks on water.  Say What?

So I say all of this to say that you may be overwhelmed, but that could be choosing to focus on the circumstances instead of God.  For the God that holds your heart is the very same God who spoke the earth into existence.  I think we often forget that from his mouth He breathed life into Adams lungs and from his mouth He declared His creation good.  God can allow you to walk on water this week.  

That being said.   Some of you may be sinking in the waves of circumstance, being swallowed by you worry and fears.  Yet there is a God who is ever-present to save you.  

As humans, we often think that asking for others help makes us weak.  Yet if we have a God who can save.  We are stupid to not ask him for help.

Lord, I need you is our battle cry   It is our victory stance.  For we have a God that is ever-present that can lift us up out of the wallows of our doubt, insecurity, fears, and anxiety. 

So this week, let us not be afraid to look up and call upon the God who is mighty to save.  

For this week, I honestly need God.  Every hour I need Him.  

So lets choose to look to Him when the waves and winds are howling, and look to Him, so that we can walk on water.  

Anxiety

I struggle with anxiety.  It is something that can get my heart racing for no reason.

Most often when we think of anxiety, we think it will be fixed, if we get something done or check something off or list.

This makes me think of a passage of scripture.

 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her (Luke 10:38-42).

I often feel like Martha, constantly bowing down to the tyranny of the urgent, so once I'm finished I can rest.  I often feel as if I constantly trying to find peace by checking items off on my to-do list or trying to nail down God's will. 

Yet as I'm running around getting things down…I could be missing out.  Martha sure was.  There was things that needed to be done.  Laundry to be put away.  Homework due tomorrow.  Yet where was Mary.  Mary was at Jesus' feet.  

Now, I'm not telling you to abandon schoolwork, cleaning and planning.  I'm just creating awareness, that the homework may never ever end and it's almost guaranteed that laundry will never be finished. 

So…why do we turn to the completion of these things for our peace.

Jesus says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28 

At Jesus' feet is where we will have peace.  It is where we can find fulfillment and hope.  

Yet first we must set down the books, and look up.  We must relish in presence and dig into his word. Why….because He cares for us.  Say what?  "Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you" 1 Peter 1:9  

Hidden in this popular verse is the reason why we sit at his feet.  Because He cares about us.  Does that homework care about you?  Will that laundry love you back?  No, yet we know that we can give everything to the Lord because He loves us enough to provide us with what we need.  When we turn to Him because He cares for us, He will give us time, resources and energy to do what we need to do.  

So, Let us look to God for peace and fulfillment for we can trust Him to supply us what we needs because He cares of us.  Also, let us never be too busy for God…for He isn't too busy for us.