I'm not looking for my other half!!!

In today's society, we are inundated with phrases, that we don't often think about. This ends up coming to our demise because those phrases if heard often enough begin to shape how we think, and later how we act.

Phrases like follow your heart, which is in every disney film or I'm waiting for the one.  Phrases like these begin to shape our ideas about romance and love.  We begin to think if we follow our heart, we will get a happy ending.  Lol, I've followed my heart and told a guy I liked him, and it turned out badly.  We begin to think there is only one person out there for us.  This fills us with anxiety of what if we miss our chance, then we will never be with the one.  Yet, what about women whose husbands die and then remarry.  Do they have a two?  Are you saying there second is less than their first or maybe even their first is less than their second…which you would understand if you've seen Letters to Juliet.

Although I could give full arguments to both of these phrases, the one I feel like is important to talk about is: I'm looking for my other half.  Before you think I am a cynic, you can ask any of my friends and they will tell you that I'm probably the most hopeful romantic they know.  Yet, I refuse to believe in this phrase because the consequences of this phrase are staggering.

When you say you're looking for your other half, you're implying that you are not yet a complete person, and that when you get married you two together will be a complete person.

There are two consequences of this thought.  First, what about the people that never get married?  If Paul says it's better that we don't get married if we can resist the temptations, then why would God praise singleness if it made you half of a person?  Also, does that mean if I'm single than I'm half a person, oh my gosh, I better find my other half quick because I don't want to be half of a person.  I want to be a complete person.  These desires could overtake me and leave me discontent with the single life, when God so praises it. Also, Jesus never got married, was he half a person? alright enough said.

The second consequence is that you end up expecting too much of your future spouse.  I don't know about you but I hate being underestimated, but sometimes what's even worse is being overestimated.  For if you underestimated you could prove them wrong, but when your overestimated if you prove them wrong you show them your not as good as they think you are.  Well, if you are expecting a man and women to complete you, those are high expectations that no human could ever meet.  They are going to mess up and they may have that one annoying trait that gets on your nerves.  Yet, if you really expected them to be your other half, you're either going to get a divorce when your not satisfied with how they complete you, or your going to drive your spouse crazy as they try to live up to your expectations.

The truth is: God is the only one that can complete you.   In James, it says that when you go through trials, you learn from it and that makes you mature and complete not lacking anything.  We all long to be complete.  That's why hollywood has made big bucks on that phrase.  Yet, God is the only one that can live up to our high expectations to complete us.  He is our other half.

So, therefore I'm a single person, but I'm a whole person.  You see how degrading this phrase is?  I'm not a half nor do I want to marry a half a person.  I want to marry a whole person, not just a half.

I want to marry someone that finds their completion in christ.

Humans are messed up.  Two messed up halves don't make a whole.   I know math majors just give me a second.

In this case, two wholes can make you holy.   Two people who find their completion in Christ can shine a light to the world as they long to look more like Christ and love each other like Christ loves the church.

 Two halves can't really make a whole, but two wholes can make you holy.

Being single on Valentines day isn't a bad thing!!

I have never had a boyfriend on Valentines day.  I've never gotten a bear and chocolates or a dozen roses on Valentines day.  You know what?  I'm totally okay with that.

I'm aware that I'm single but why is that a bad thing?  I actually like being single, most of the time:/  Now, don't get me wrong, if a prince charming walked through the door, I'd definitely get excited.  But who says that when you single, you can't enjoy valentines day.

I love love.   I love watching women get showered and cherished on valentines day.  I'm not going to lie,  I still sometimes feel that twinge of sadness, and ask when it's going to be my turn?  Yet, I realize that this day is beautiful when you have someone special to share it with.  Maybe that someone special is your best friend, or you daddy, or your boyfriend.  But other than that, It's a day for couples and I know it's made up, but I still love it.  

Marriage was designed to be a reflection of God's love for us.  So, valentines day we get to see such a small picture of God's love for us.  Your boyfriend may get you roses, but God made roses for us.   You may get taken out on a special date, but God longs to spend time with you every day and is with you every moment.  You might get some chocolates,  but God has given you a world that is full of beautiful, tasty, and wonderful things.  

It's okay to want romance.  It's okay if your a little sad to be single today, but let's not stop in sadness but let us rejoice that we get to cheer on couples from the sidelines and rejoice that they have a special someone, because one day we might be in the game, and we will want people to be happy for us, not whining about how their single on valentines day.  Am I right?

So, in whatever, phase of life your in single, dating, engaged, or married, let God's heavenly romance touch you today.

We all have Baggage to Claim

You've got baggage behind you

But no where to go

Your heart beats faster

Does anyone know?

The weight you carry

Demands an extra charge

For you fears and pain

Come in extra large 

They ask for your baggage 

You decide to carry it on

You just can't let it go

Your scared might be long gone

The weight keeps from love

Your just afraid

That If you let go 

It will open you up for pain 

If you keep it here 

You know the baggage you'll claim

So you carry the burden

Weigh down the plane 

Your familiar with the baggage claim

You meet a girl

That makes you believe

That the baggage 

could just walk away and leave

Yet instead she comes 

With baggage of her own

And the burdens she carries

Can't be carried alone

You start to let go of yours

Only to find that hers is enough

Caring her bags

Is more than just tough

You scream let go 

This weight is too heavy

She tries but can't 

She's the one feeling guilty

If you keep yours

You can't belong

But if you let go

You'll have a different song

You long to get on the plane

But you've grown familar to the baggage to claim 

What if you let go

Of your security 

That girl loved you

And You'd be free

You'd be a tangled up mess

For she has weight too

But it takes two to defeat

This burden you hold on to 

Grab her hand 

You have to let go

And maybe just maybe 

you'll get on the plane 

and You'll have someone else's baggage to claim.

Poem: © 2015 Kenady Shope

What if we let go of the baggage that claims us, only to grab on to another hand? God's hand.  It's so easy to hold on to the junk we've been carrying around.  We are used to it, and familiar and if we let go, some new baggage might come along.  Yet  if we don't let go, we may never get to share in someone else's burdens.    God says "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 

Let's Pray:

God we love you and we thank you for being a wonderful and merciful God who helps us carry our burdens.  Help us know when it's time to let go, so we can take a bigger grasp at who you are.  We love you and need you.

In Jesus's name 

Amen 

Come as you are, your shame has already been paid for...

Dear my Lily,

Where have you been?

I've been trying to fix my sin,

For you I'm too tattered and too torn

But Lily, I can make you reborn.

But God, You'd be disappointed to see

the mess that has become of me

No, I'll be delighted that you coming home

Its about who you run toward not where you come from

I created you and knew your my will for you

before you mom knew pink or blue

All I wanted was for you choose

me or you 

So, who's it going to be my precious daughter

Do you think the one who saves can ever falter?

Or can you save yourself?

How's that been working out?

I love you and I'm quite jealous

that you would settle for something less

For I can show you a kingdom

where you will be blessed

Stop fixing yourself

you'll only get tired

for I'm the Creator

and quite frankly you're fired.

Sit and rest and dwell on my power

think of me every rising hour

I know you think I want more

but I just want to be yours

If you have to earn anything for love

that love is not from me

for I just want you

that why the scars in my hand bleed

You are exquisite

a beautiful lily 

You've been saved

you are free. 

So step out of the prison

you have been reborn

Look at yourself 

your no longer tattered and torn

While you and I were talking I took the leisure

of filling your holes

For with me,

you'll be full

So next time 

come to me first

I'll satisfy your hunger

and quench your thirst.

Don't be ashamed of where you've been

for I've already took the shame of your sin

The shame even died with me

so your shackles are gone and you are free.

Dance with me,

My sweet Lily

Your savior,

Jesus

My thoughts on New Year's Resolutions

The gym is currently packed with the people who have recently committed that this new year they are going to work out…I'm not there.  Yet, my parents get a little frustrated every year as a new batch of hopefuls step inside the gym in January.  The sad thing is that the gym is a lot more crowded in January than in other months of the year.  As the year progresses, the hopefuls disappear and the frequent flyers are still chugging a way.  

This is an example of how New Year's Resolutions often are just a goal that never gets completed.  

Let's be honest.  A Year, while very definitive, is also very long.  It's a daunting task.  

Hmm….let me think of all that happened in a year.  I finished two semesters of college, a total of 37 hours.  I performed in Spring Sing with my sorority.  I traveled to Santa Fe, New Mexico, and Costa Rica.  I was on a Pine Cove Camp in the City team and we brought camp to 6 different churches.  I helped out at 2 DNOWs, went to Passion Conference, and helped out at a church camp.  I performed at the Music Business Showcase.  I read a spoken word at an event called Inspired Poet for my sorority.  My sorority also rushed and welcomed 30+ new girls into our sorority.  

A lot of things happened in 2014, and I'm a different girl because of it.  

In 2014, I set out to read 10 non-fiction books.  I read 4.  After my crazy summer, to be quite honest I forgot.  

This year I grew up a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot.  I loved a lot, and focused on my self a lot.  I turned to God a lot, and I failed to turn to God a lot.  I look back and I have regrets and on other days I have none.  Some days I succeeded and some days I failed.  

So, this new year.  I'm not going to make a New Year's resolution, because I don't want to buy a gym membership that goes to waste.  Instead, I'm going to wake up each day and choose to live that day for God.  What does that look like?  Well, it should look like me going to the gym…lol.  

I'm going to make goals don't get me wrong, but I want to take my goals one day at a time. 

Our mercies are new every morning.  I want to wake up and choose to love more, laugh more and seek God more every day.  

It's a new day…what will you choose??

For the heartbroken, the lonely, lost, and confused...

Recently, my heart was broken and I was left confused.  I was left asking God why. Why did he do this?  Why did He take away something that I've always wanted?

Now, I must admit that I feel like a lot of us need to be honest with ourselves and honest with our God about how we really feel.  We want to pick ourselves up and pull ourselves together before we feel worthy to present ourselves to God.  Yet, God knows how we feel, we might as well tell him.  So, after weeks of telling Him like it is.  I told Him that I was frustrated, and confused.  I told Him that I was hurt.  I told Him that I was doubting his goodness that his will was better than my own.

I felt bad for doubting, and being mad at God and still walking in church and professing his love.  Yet, to be honest this is what life is all about.  We are in the refiners fire and every once and a while we have to struggle with things and wrestle with them.  And why not ask your most probing questions to the one who created the universe.

Doubting is not a bad thing, it can make us stronger.  It is just how we handle it that determines our character.

So, the other night I was really struggling with pain.  God said hey remember that time when you didn't make the cheerleading team and I got you through that.  If I can get you through that I can get you through this.

You see, my freshman year I had worked so so so hard to get my back-handspring and round-off back-handspring so that I could be a sophomore cheerleader.  I had it all planned out.  I was going to be a cheerleader all four years of my high school career and then maybe try-out to become a cheerleader in college. Well, it was all riding on the test of my back-handspring.  If I passed that, I could try-out and my family and I were pretty sure if I made it past the test, the try-outs would be a breeze and I would make the team.  Well, I made it past the test and I was celebrating.  I made it through try-outs too, but we were wrong.  I didn't make it.

My whole family was confused.  So confused that my dad had not prepared what to do if I had not made it only if I did.  I stared at a list of girls names where my name was missing sitting in a car decorated for my celebration.  I will never forget that moment.  The moment of confusion.  My mom trying to console me as she was trying to make since of it herself.  

The next few weeks were filled with there is something better out there.  There is a reason. God has something better out there for you.  Then, one day I had had it.  I said, "Mama, I know that there is something better out there for me, but right now it doesn't change how I feel"

I trusted God, and knew his plan, but it was still hard for me to sing "Blessed be the name of the Lord, who gives and takes away" the next day.

I will never forget these moments because they shaped who I am today.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything"
James 1:2-4

I later on discovered I had misplaced my identity.  My identity was in cheerleading not in who God made me to be.  I became thoroughly involved in show choir, which I ended up loving a whole lot more than I love cheerleading but what's crazy is show choir didn't become my identity like cheerleading did.  God still was.

I feel like recently I have placed my identity in the wrong things, and usually God takes those things away. God is our God not to make us happy but to make us whole.  I can only be whole if my identity is placed in him.

 I place my hope in God and how He is in control and that there is something better out there for me, but until them I will wrestle with the pain, and come to God with my doubts.  I'm in the refiners fire and I long to come out more mature and complete than when I went in.

So, to the heartbroken, the lonely, lost and confused, God says: Come to me, I'm all you need.

There is no such thing as a good gift at a bad time!

Well, with the Christmas presents unrapped, gifts have been on my mind!! 

What makes a gift a good gift? Well that it came at a good time!! I came home from the fall semester with these boots that were falling a part and to get new boots is so nice because they couldn't have come at a more perfect time!!

Also, when I was wanting to learn how to play the guitar I asked for a guitar for Christmas. My parents didn't get me a guitar because it wasn't the right time. They wanted me to learn on a borrowed guitar and if I really liked it then I could get a guitar of my own. So now I have a really nice guitar and I love it because I bought it myself and I'm so glad that I didn't get a guitar when I asked for it.

Last night, we had Christmas with my mom's side of the family. Now something you have to know about my families Christmas is opening presents is a long ordeal. We each have a stack of all our presents and each take a turn opening one present. The youngest opens a gift first then all the way around to the oldest!! It takes a while but it's tradition and we wouldn't have it any other way!!

 Somewhere through the evening my mom opened up the most gorgeous pearls! They were stunning, and I was truly happy about the gift for her!! 

But If you know me, you know that pearls would be a great addition to my jewelry box!! I love pearls!! 

Then, my grandpa Jim comes over to me and says patientce is a virtue. 

Next, my aunt Lara opens up a box and it has the same pearls in it!! Again, my grandpa says  Patience  is a virtue!!

Then, my aunt Gabby later in the night opens up her box of pearls!! Again in which my grandpa says Patience  is a virtue!!!

Finally, I had saved my present for last but i couldn't help it and opened it early!! I opened up my box of my pearls!! I couldn't have opened them at a better time!! Patience paid off. The anticipation and then the joy that came when my expectation was met and I finally opened my own pearls!!

Recently I've had a few heartbreaks and I asked God why. Why hasn't  the right guy come along. One who will take care of me and love me for who I am. 

God reminded me of the pearls. So maybe my pearl necklace (my guy) is
under the tree and waiting to be unrapped. I just need to be patient to unwrap it at the proper time.