God: Am I not enough for you?

A girl and a guy face other, some distance apart.  The girl, frustrated.  The boy, trying to understand, but never can relate.  The emotions rise, and accusations are made.  The girl hurls one last insult and the boy with tear-stained eyes says, "Am I not enough for you?"

……..

Sometimes I get a sense of God looking at us with tear-stained eyes asking,  "Am I not enough for you?" 

Now, the boy in the story is an imperfect guy and may not be enough for her.  

But the ironic thing about God asking that question, is that God is the ONLY thing that can be enough for us.  The only thing. 

He is the solution to our every need.  He is our other half and our completion.  He is faithful and He is true.  He is all good, and consistent.  He fills my heart, and doesn't just satisfy it, but He overwhelms it. For more on how amazing God is check out Broken Hallelujah. 

So, why would God be asking this?

In our lives, we have things we desire, and want.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. God made us to yearn for things.  Yet, sometimes those desires become something to fulfill us, and satisfy us and in turn become our identity.  

It's easy for me to turn to my boyfriend and expect him to be God.  I want him to meet my needs and fulfill every longing in my heart, yet I know he can't. 

It's easy for me to turn to my grades and expect them to satisfy me,  and define me.  An A means I am worthy, but a B means that I am a disgrace.  

It's easy for me to turn to fame, If I just had more page views, it means that I am successful.

It's easy for  me to turn to wishing.  If I just had a more of this or that, then I would be satisfied.  

It's easy for all of us to turn to the world, to our desires, even to the Church to fill our needs.  Don't get me wrong, these things will and can serve a purpose.  God can use the Church, but the Church ain't God.  

But at the end of the day, God is ultimately asking, "Who are you living for?"   

"Who/what do you seek to fulfill you?"  

Because if we seek the world, which is super easy to do, we won't be satisfied. 

And God in his jealous nature looks down and asks "Am I not enough that you would settle for that to complete you?"  

"Was my son not enough for you?"

Man, just imagining God saying that brings me to near tears.  God gave it all for you, now He is asking for you to give it all to Him. 

I think sometimes giving it all to Him is scary because we are worried that we will lose something important.  But it's like when my dad would give me a hundred dollar bill for a target gift card.  It isn't just a good trade, but it's a trade that everyone would make.  

For the world will let me down, check out I'm tired of falling for the worlds promises.  The world will leave me broken and hurt, if I look to it for my identity.  But God promises that He will satisfy every need and fulfill my broken heart.  He is full of mercy and grace and He gives us an identity.  Our identity in Christ is that we are forever His and He is ours.  How beautiful is that, I would take that any day over the identity of smart, girlfriend, blessed daughter, or wealthy.  

I am forever His, and I want to show Him every day that that is not just enough for me, but it's MORE than enough for me. 

This I know!!!

Last post, I told you all about how life is uncertain.  Which is true, life will have it's ups and downs.

Yet, I will always have joy!!

Because there is one thing in this life that is certain. 

He is the guy that created it all. 

Jesus Christ is the one thing that is certain, and that is how we are able to handle all of life's uncertainties. 

That's why when the world gives us grief, we can have joy.  When the world gives us fear, we can have peace. When the world gives us hate, we can have love. 

For God is certain. 

God is Emet Elohim Emet, meaning faithful and true.

God is the rock on which I stand and will never falter.

Life may bend
But I won't break
For I have a God
Who won't Forsake
I have a God who won't let me be
For he has grabbed my heart and taken hold of me.

So, this easter sunday. 

Let us rejoice that the Jesus's resurrection is the only sign we need. It's the proof, that our God is truly in fact God.  It is the power, by which we are able to live.  Without the resurrection, our faith is in a dead God.  But today, we have faith that our God is not dead, and the Spirit that raised Christ from the dead, now lives in us. 

So, today reflect, and have rejoice.

For we don't depend on our best friends, we don't depend on our spouses, we don't even depend on the church.

We depend on a God, who was and is and will always be faithful.  

He is powerful.  He is mighty and last of all He loves us. 

HAPPY RESURRECTION DAY!!!

I don't know...

Life is uncertain. Let us just face it.  Life brings us many surprises.  Whether that is a good surprise like a gift just because, or a bad surprise like a lay-off at work.  Life is full of surprises. 

What I have observed from my 18 years of life is that most people have a "love-hate relationship" with surprises, as Mark Batterson put it in his book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.  We love good uncertainty, but dread the bad uncertainty.  

Although in his book, he makes it clear that we should embrace uncertainty.  

Yet, we all like to plan things…and if you like me you want everything to go the way you planned it.  I'm alsothe kind of person that will have a tad bit of anxiety when a plan is changed, even if the change will make the plan better than before. 

I don't like it when plans change!!  

Yet, think of a biblical character you would like to be like.  

Do you think Moses planned to split the Red Sea in two?
Do you think David planned, "Oh today I think I'm going to kill a giant?"
Do you think Esther planned to marry a king and then risk her life to save her people?

No..I don't think they planned it, but it was those uncertain moments that changed the course of history. 

The other day, I had something happen to me that I wish didn't…a.k.a. I lost my choir binder.  

I walked all the way to choir only to realize that the person I thought had my binder…didn't have my binder.  

So, I sauntered back to my room and looked and looked and couldn't find it anywhere.  So, I walked to the choir room to see  if it was there, and then finally found it in the lobby of the other girls dorm.  By that time, I had already missed a good 20 min of choir, so I decided to take a break and skip choir.  

Literally, that gave me so much more energy to continue with the rest of my day, and that 30 min break ended up being the best part of my day.  

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. 17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4:13-17

So, I think first problem we have with uncertainty is pride, like it says in James 4. 

We want our life to go the way we plan it and when it doesn't we are like "God, I had this all planned out!!!"  In a sense, we are saying that our plans, our better that His plans and this is certainly not the case.  

My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. Isaiah 55:8

The second is that we are scared that God's plans will be something that we will not enjoy.  Yet, the maker of your heart knows what will fulfill you most.  So, therefore He will not give you something that you will hate, only something that you will love more than you can imagine.  

So,I'm not saying don't make plans.  Plans are great, but just know that the Lord may come in and change them.  That is when we must humble ourselves.  

We must step into each day and offer our plan to God.  We must have keep our plans in open hands.  

We also must not dread for our plans to change, for it could be that very change that could change the course of history forever.  

Let us not just deal with uncertainty.  Let us embrace it. 

Mark Batterson puts it this way, "Embrace relational uncertainty. It's called romance. Embrace Spiritual uncertainty, it's called mystery. Embrace occupational uncertainty, it's called destiny. Embrace emotional uncertainty, it's called joy. Embrace intellectual uncertainty, it's called revelation" 

Man, if you know anything about me, I am a sucker for romance.  I love it, but if you ask my boyfriend, he would tell you that the uncertainty of it kills me.  

I love mystery novels, but if you asked God, He would tell you that the fact I can't figure Him out kills me.  

I love revelation, I love joy and I want to live out God's destiny. Yet, I often find myself stuck in the stress of being uncertain.  

Life is uncertain.  I have a choice to run from it, or embrace it and use it to my advantage.  

What will you choose?

It's a really bad habit.

So, I believe I have written 50 blog posts about anxiety and stress. Well, maybe not 50, but it is obvious that God is trying to teach me something….lol.

So, let me just start this blog out with the fact that I don't have all of this stuff figured out. God is teaching me through this blog.  It is often a day later that I find myself saying, "Well, maybe I should listen to my own words."  Lol….God is so patient.

Anyways yesterday, I was sitting in voice class and I was trying to break a habit of tensing up my tongue. I know it sounds weird, but when you sing you want to have everything loose, or you make it harder on yourself.  So, my teacher was having me do weird things, and it was so hard because my muscles in my tongue have a habit of making it hard on myself lol.

Then, it hit me like a train…yes in the middle of my voice lesson.  This applies to my life.  I usually make things harder than they should be.

 I also realized that there is a simple principle throughout creation that stress hurts you and doesn't help you.

When I was a cheerleader my freshman year of high school, I had a private instructor to teach me how to do gymnastics.  Well, I have the flexibility of a overweight middle-aged man, like it is insane how inflexible I am.  My mom makes fun of me.  I am probably exaggerating, but I think you get my point.

So anyway, we would do this stretch where I would have my back on the ground and feet in the middle splits on the wall.  Well, it would always hurt so much.  So, I would tense up thinking that would help me, but one day my instructor told me that when I tense up, it actually makes it hurt more.

This whole time I had been tensing up because I thought it helped me, but in reality it was the very thing that was hurting me.

Isn't this true in life?  We get overwhelmed, so we stress out.  It seems like a natural progression, and it seems like a healthy one.  We have to tense up to get it all done, right?

THAT IS A LIE!! LET US STOP BELIEVING THAT!!

Stress can never help you.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Luke 12:25

Now, let us not test this verse.  I have already tried it…..way too many times.  You don't have to test it.  Worrying doesn't help you, it can only hurt you.  

I took this class at DBU called Christian Leadership and the professor teaches something that is similar to this.  
He says, "Don't confuse activity with accomplishment."

He tells this story of a caterpillar on ring and in the middle of the ring there is food and he can smell it.  Yet, the caterpillar can't get to the middle.  So, the caterpillar will just continue to walk around the rim, until he dies.  

The caterpillar had a lot of activity, but never had any accomplishment. 

Its also like that scene from frozen when Anna is climbing up that mountain, and she is huffing and puffing but she is only like 2 feet off the ground….lol.

So, I understand it is often counterintuitive to have peace through the storm of circumstances.  We feel like if we stress out than at least we are doing something. Instead, we have to let go and let God, because it is only then that we will be free.  

Yet, like I mentioned earlier.  Stress is a habit sometimes.  One that is often very hard to break!!  

It takes discipline and it takes time.  This is what I am working on right now.  I'm exhausted.  I am so tired of being stressed and worried.  I don't want to be that way anymore.  Who is with me??

So, what I do is I write on my wrist. "Let it be, Jesus." There is this song that is amazing, and it talks about Jesus being the first name you call, and the only one on your mind.  I will post it when it gets officially released on iTunes.  Anyways, I write that on my wrist as a reminder to have Jesus on my mind.  

So, let us break the habit of worrying, because we want to move forward!!!  God is stronger and He can take our burdens.  So, let us surrender them daily, hourly, and minutely to him.

Love creates action Part 1

I know most of you saw the title and were like oh no, Kenady is going to talk about her theory's on dating.  If you know me, you know I have a lot of theories..lol.

No, today I'm talking about loving your neighbor as yourself and what that looks like.  

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1st Corinthians 13

This verse is so so impactful to me.  For I could do spiritual things, that are inherently good that would amount to nothing, if I have not love. I could right this blog, and it be empty words because I do not love. 

So think…if you were the enemy, and you couldn't take my soul, because Jesus already got it, what would you try to do? You would hinder me from loving right?

What hinders us from loving?

anxiety, depression, anything that has you more focused on yourself and your circumstances rather than loving others

Judgement of right and wrong can hinder us from loving people.  If we are so focused on what they are doing is wrong that we can't fully love them, then we are a clanging cymbal. We all do this, for we love what is morally right and good. I am not saying we should excuse others wrongdoing, but sometimes reprimanding them is not the best way to love them, other times it might be. 

I am reading this book called Love does by Bob Goff.  The first story was so fantastic, I must share it. 

The author Bob, when he was younger decided he wanted to drop out of high school and live in the mountains.  So, he packed everything up, but before leaving he stopped by his YoungLife leaders house to say goodbye.  He told his leader what he was doing and the leader said, hold on a minute.  So, the leader left and came back with a backpack and said "I with you, Bob."  So, Bob and Randy left and went to the mountains.  Bob soon figured out that the life in the mountains wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.  He couldn't get a job without a high school diploma, and a job was a pivotal point of his plan.  So, he decided to go home, and Randy said "I'm with you."  When Bob dropped Randy off at his house, Bob soon realized that Randy had just married his girlfriend, and instead of spending his newlywed days with his wife, He decided to spend them with Bob. 

The author comments, "I used to want to fix people, but now I just want to with them"  

Love is meeting people where they are at.  Love is showing them how much you care by walking with them through the journey.  

Now, I am not saying you should ignore discipline.  "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." Proverbs 13:24

But if we discipline and have not love, it amounts nothing.  We must seek to love the lost.  We must go out of our way to demonstrate our love to them.  

For Jesus did not just stay in heaven to judge us, but came down to us and met us on our level.  Then, He sacrificed his life to pay for our sins.  This is love. 

Love is laying down your life for others. 

Love is sacrificing you right to say something, in order to demonstrate something. 

Love is laying down you right to judge and fix them, in order to get down on their level. 

God is love.  

If your like me, Love is something you struggle with, at least this kind of love.  Yet we have access to a God, who is love.  So, let us pray for a heart that loves.  

For God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, nor boast, nor is He proud.  God is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. God rejoices with the truth.  God always protects, always hopes, always trusts and always perseveres. God never fails.

So, if we want this kind of love let us tap into the never failing God, who loves us.