I hope for people to read my blog, is that wrong?

Is it wrong to hope for things?  Like is it wrong to want things?  I want good grades, and I want my family to be healthy and I hope that this holiday season is a time that I can grow in relationship with them.

Is is wrong to hope for big things? Girls, is it wrong to hope to get married one day? Is it wrong to hope for family.

I don't think it is wrong to hope for things, but I think it's wrong to place our hope in things or people.

If my hope is in getting good grades, then when I get a bad grade my heart is broken.  If my hope is in getting married, and I never do then I will live a miserable life constantly feeling lonely and misunderstood.

However, If my hope is in God, then I have the confidence to hope for things.  Since, I know that God wants my good as well as values my growing character, I can trust whatever answer to my hopes comes my way.  When I fail a test, my heart might hurt but I will be able to rest in knowing that God is still my God whether I get an A or fail.  When I get married, I can freely thank Him for giving me something that I desire but also putting that desire in my heart.

Now, when we hope in the wrong things, it can be relatively easy for us to pinpoint.  We can see how much we are willing to do to keep it.  If you are willing to lie, manipulate, or do anything to compromise your values to keep something, chances are your hope is in it. Because hoping in God allows us to do the right thing even when it's hard because we trust Him to work it all out in the end.

Now, I've realized I have put my hope in myself.  This causes me major anxiety and I don't want to hope for things because I'm worried that they will fail or I'm not good enough.  If I hope for something, and it fails.  It becomes my fault for wanting it to happen.

Yet, when am I going to realize that I don't have to do things on my own.  I was walking with one of my friends the other day and I was trying to carry my bags and lift my skirt up at the same time and I was fumbling all over the place.  My friend was like "I can carry your bag?".  Isn't this what we do with God?  We are so stressed trying to hold up everything in our lives because we think it's on us, when God is trying to say "I'm here, I can take that from you"

Now, when we give our bags to God it leaves us with empty hands.  Hands we can serve and love and trust and hope with.  Yet, our heart is in God, and our anchor rests in him.  So, if we lose something we hope for, it's only a penny in the grand scheme of things because we have hope in something that is so much greater than anything we can hope for.

God wants us to love things and hope for things, but we won't be fully free to do that until we have our hope in Him.

When we have are hope in God, we are free to take risks because we have nothing to lose because we know that everything to gain is already in him.

Therefore, we can hope for things, and take a risk because we know that all that is to gain is from God anyway.

So let us trust in God, and Hope in Him.  So we can live fearlessly, we weren't made to live this life alone, so let us put our trust in Him.

You're a flower about to bloom!!

If i'm going to be real, it's been a hard go of it. God has been chiseling me, and it's hard.  Through this time God has given me three songs.  One was called Idol factory, and since then God has been taking away idols, I didn't even know I had. The second song was called "Be Still".

Be still and know that I am God Psalm 46:10

He is been telling me to be confident and hopeful about what is to come because He is my God.
The stillness has been hard since I like to keep moving, yet I am trying to persevere and wait for the time appointed.

The third song, I finished tonight, and it's called "Prune me".  I was praying and asking God to heal me and to prune me.  "Consider it pure joy you say, Be still you say well now there is nothing in my way, so prune me, mold me, I know you're chiseling to reveal your beauty. So take away what's in my way, prune me, for your glory" After this prayer, I looked up to a bouquet of flowers my roommate got me and when she had first gotten them the lilies hadn't bloomed yet, yet today they are blooming!

I felt God say, "Look that's you, you are a flower about to bloom" I am a caterpillar about to become a butterfly.

The work that it takes for a flower to bloom is a lot.  It has to go through struggles and times of being still yet one day it is going to bloom.

So take heart, o brokenhearted, you're a flower about to bloom!

Dads, Pursue your Daughters

I'm writing this to you today because I opened up my college mailbox which I infrequently check and found two notes from my dad.

The notes were simple. One was a post card and the other was a nice papyrus card.  However, they were quick notes of encouragement.  One thanking me for going on a trip with him to San Francisco and the other telling me how great of a time he has had this summer spending time with me.

These simple notes made my day and maybe my week.   Humans were made with a capacity to love and be loved.  Our heavenly father fills this.  However, it the busyness of live we may forget just how much God sees us and loves us.  Our earthly dad can easily remind us of this.

I love my father and his words mean the world to me. Being a girl is hard these days.  We know we can find our worth and value in Christ, but we still long for someone in this world to pursue us and to find us special.

Dads make us feel special.

Dads make us feel wanted, cherished and loved.

So, dads I encourage you to pursue you daughters.  Take her on dates.  My dad and I went to the daddy daughter dance every year until I was too old to go and now instead we go to a nice restaurant.

Teach you daughters what they are supposed to look for in a man, although I'm sure they could never find someone as great as you.  Every time my dad does something great, I'm reminded that it just got a little harder for the man I will one day marry.

You set the bar.

Yet, you also there when a guy doesn't meet the bar and we are left sad and confused. On days like these we are reminded that we will always have a guy in our life and this guy loves us and thinks we are special.  You remind us that this isn't the end of the world because we have you and not only that we have God.

For if you love us this much, then how much more does God love us.

So, Dads please pursue your daughters because no one on earth can do it better than you can.

Loading...

Well, sometimes my prayer life feels like that buffering screen.  I feel like my answered prayers in the past few months have left me at dead ends.  I'm not sure if I should turn around or wait for God to open the door. 

Just like in netflix when we see the buffering screen, we want to exit out and start again.  Maybe even restart the computer or reboot the wifi.  We try anything to make the waiting go away.  However, the more we click the more that spinning wheel keeps on spinning.

Waiting is so hard that we try filling our life with other meaningless things.  We try to forge a new path, our own path.  Just think about Abraham,  God promised him a son which already seemed impossible.  I mean he wasn't getting any younger.  The spinning color wheel kept spinning so he decided to beat down the dead end of the maze. He ended up with a son but because he did it his way instead of God's way, there was a lot of scars to be felt.  I mean what do we expect!  There is going to be more hurt and pain when we beat down a door instead of letting God open it in his time.  For more on God's timing read about how there is such thing as a good gift at a bad time.

I love to know God's plan and I love to be busy doing something.  It's very hard for me to realize that sometimes God's plan is for me to wait and do nothing.  I feel like I'm being sidelined to be a bench warmer, but in reality God is doing a new work. 

Think about it, when the computer is buffering, it means it is working so hard that you have to stop working so it can finish.  It's the same thing with God. 


Sometimes for him to do a deep work, I have to cease to work.  Sometimes my business has to stop, for his to begin. 

Isaiah 43:18-19: "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland"

He loves me, He loves me not!!

In the theme of genuine Christianity, I'll be honest sometimes I forget that God loves me. I guess my intellectual self has a hard time not going through periods of doubt. 

We all want to be loved and so since I wasn't so sure that God loved and approved of me, I looked to functional gods to do the trick. I've been reading this book called "No other gods" by Kelly Minter. It's so good. If you are a person, you should read it. Anyway she talks about how we can look to other people to give us the love we desire instead of looking to god. 

This is honestly something I struggle with. I've idolized my parents approval for years and I've idolized my best friend. However, it has been the worst when I'm interested in someone. 

Quite frankly, I'm tired of it. It is exhausting!!

Relying on someone other than God to fill your heart is kinda of like this...

*not my picture btw 

Today on an island, we climbed through these rock caves on the beach. We climbed under rocks and over rocks, through rocks and between rocks. It was quite a workout after a day of busy activities, and when that was done we walked across more beach under some trees into a very pretty area where I found a rock shaped like a heart. Wow!! That's really cool...so I picked it up wanting to take it back to keep. So I had to carry the very heavy rock back through the caves of rocks. Up the stairs and down the stairs, through rocks and under rocks. Then I had to put on my snorkel gear and swim back to our dingy with the not so light rock. 

The burden of longing for love is kinda as heavy as this rock.  I've lugged and dragged my heart too long. 

Jesus said that his yoke is easy and his burden is light. I to be reminded of Gods love for me this week. I mean I found a heart rock that's pretty cool!! However, I want to keep this rock as a reminder that I can't go through life on my own. I can't carry my heart..Jesus can though. 

Just imagine if I could have swam without my rock..I would have had a free hand to hold someone I love. Loving people no longer becomes a burden but a joy. 

When we know Jesus loves us and that He gives us all the love we could ever need than we no longer need to carry our heavy hearts!

I pray that we give our heavy hearts to Jesus so we can know his love more than ever, for his yoke is easy and his burden is light!

A Fake Engagement Ring!

Imagine this…a beautiful charming man gets down on one knee and proposes.  Your heart swells with excitement and you say "Yes." You spend the next few weeks planning your future together and it seems to be a bright one.  

Then, one day you realize that your ring isn't a real diamond and  you confront him.  Yes, a ring is just a ring, but it is also a symbol.  You realize that maybe his love for you isn't genuine or authentic.  He isn't the real deal.  

I tell this story to remind you that we all crave the real, authentic and genuine things.  Some of us in this pursuit find ourselves settling for the superficial, but the superficial never leaves us satisfied.  

So, I am a Christian and because I want something real and genuine it leads me to Christ.  Well, as Christians we are supposed to image Christ to the world.  Our role as Christians are to be real, honest people on the narrow road toward Christ.  

In my next few blog posts I'm going to talk about how important genuine Christianity is in our world especially for those of us who live in an America, and for those reading who are not Christians I might just answer some of your questions.  

So first, why is genuine Christianity so important?  You show how much a item is worth by how much you pay for it correct?  Well as Christians, we are asking non-Christians to give their life for Jesus, now that is a high cost.   

I wouldn't give my life for anything fake just like I wouldn't pay the full price of a diamond for a fake engagement ring.  No!! If I'm going to pay the genuine price, then I expect the fully certified diamond to end up in my hand.

I think that sometimes as Christians we think that the best way to evangelize to people is to show them how perfect our life is.  If we could just tell them that with Jesus that our life is perfect and that everything is happy and great, then they might just want to except Jesus Christ.  Well that isn't true!! 

tbh, life is really hard.  The struggle is real and when your a Christian there is an enemy constantly trying to beat you up.  However, God is with you, and He gives you a hope to know that this life that genuinely sucks isn't what you are living for because you are living for a God who is faithful and will always be there when the world is crashing down all around you.  

When I went to public school, I also felt the need to be a perfect person, and to represent Christ by not showing any weakness.  However, this is contrary to the gospel!  My friend said it perfectly yesterday, "when we declare we are Christians, we are saying that we are so wretched and so sinful that someone had to die for us." That is the genuine gospel.  

Perfect people are intimidating.   I mean if there really was a perfect person.  When we try to be perfect the world is just waiting for us to screw up, which we will.  Yet instead of trying to be perfect, we should be pointing to the perfect God.  

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me" 2 Corinthians 12:9

He is glorified when we admit our weaknesses and tell the world that the only hope that we have in being a person that makes less mistakes than we do is because God has saved us from the pit that we have put ourselves in.  

If we are truly a Christian, then we have been honest with ourselves and our God that we are sinners who are dependent on God.  Well, it's time we were honest to the world as well, for this is the only way God can be glorified.  

I will leave you with this thought….Sunsets are beautiful, however the colors that make them so pretty are made by the pollutions in the sky.   If we allow God to shine through our weakness, then we can be something as beautiful as a sunset.  So, lets start being real.  

For the worn out…we are in the year of jubilee

When I look at myself, I see someone who is spiritually bankrupt.  This desert has been tough, however the Lord has been faithful to continually reveal himself to me.  This semester while being spiritually dry has also been busy and I've been running around doing a lot of things and there were many times this semester I just wanted to escape and be done.  In the middle of it all, I went to a women's conference here at school.  I only had time to go to one session but I am so glad I did.

 I was doubting my salvation because I wasn't reminding myself of grace and I was just so tired of beating myself up trying to prove to myself that I was okay.

In the sermon this Godly women took us to the pages of Isaiah 61 and compared it to Luke 4.  Luke 4 is the passage where Jesus is in the synagogue reads a passage from Isaiah and sits down and says "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing"(Luke 4:21)

What passage was fulfilled that day you ask? Well he read the first verses of Isaiah 61.
 
                                                                                Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners,

 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,    

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

    instead of ashes, 

the oil of joy instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

    instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

    a planting of the Lord

    for the display of his splendor.

So, I don't know about you but when I read Isaiah I always get a little confused.  So what is this talking about?  It is talking about the year of jubilee.  So back in the days of Israel, most of us know that there was a sabbath day.  Well, there was also a sabbath year.  So after six years of planting crops, the seventh year they would not work and they would allow the land to rest as well.  Now, after the seventh seventh year, there would be a year of jubilee.  This passage is talking about this year, or the year of our Lord.  

Now a few things happen during the year of jubilee:

1. All debt is cancelled

2. All Land is returned to it's original owner

3. Slaves were freed

4. All were given a new beginning

5. Economy was balanced

If the year of jubilee were to happen today, it would be as if you had no college debt anymore!! No debt at all.  There would be no rich man or poor man all would be equalized and we were given the chance to completely start over.  

Well, why am I talking about his ancient practice?  Jesus read it aloud in the synagogue and said that He had come to fulfill it.  

This means in Christ we are always in a spiritual year of jubilee!! This means that:

1. Our sin debt is cancelled

2. We return to our maker

3. Once a slave to sin, we are freed to serve Christ

4. We are given a new beginning

5. There is a level playing field at the foot of the cross

Wow!! after hearing this message I felt like Jesus was saying to me, "Kenady stop being so hard on yourself!" I am living in the year of jubilee so these things are all true.

The year of Jubilee frees us from comparison to others because we are all equalized by the blood of Jesus, and it gives us freedom that the bondage of sin gives us.  Most importantly, it gives us an assurance of our salvation because our salvation is not based on works rather it is based on the blood of Christ. 

God has given me a car and still I forget about his wonderful grace.  I may be spiritually bankrupt but that is the point "God's power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12:9. When I stop trying to prove to myself that I'm okay, and start believing that Jesus came to earth so that I could be free,  God is glorified.  In my mess, God is brought higher, my sin debt is cancelled and I am made free.  

He has anointed us which means he has chosen us to proclaim this truth to the world.  To tell all about how they can live in a constant state of year of jubilee, and in that we will be oaks of righteousness because we will be declaring the Lord's glory and that will be our reputation. 

So for the burnt out…let's stop running around trying to be perfect and instead rest in knowing that we are in the spiritual year of jubilee.