What more can I do? I just don't want to disappoint you!!

Some people would call me a people pleaser.  Others would say I'm too stubborn.  Yet, that doesn't change the fact that I don't want anyone to be disappointed in me, especially my elders and the ones that look up to me.

So…I can't make mistakes, that's just the way it has to be.  I can't make mistakes.

I grew up thinking this way.  I wanted to please my father and would cry at the slightest sign of disappointment.  Imagine how learning how to drive went.   When I messed up, he would tell me and I would think he was disappointed, and I would cry.  Yes, I would cry and I was almost 16!!

I didn't want to disappoint my dad.  I love him and want him to be proud of me.

Yet, this is how I viewed God.  I love God so so much and I don't want Him to be disappointed in his daughter.  I want to please Him, and I want Him to be happy with me.  These are all good desires that satan soon corrupted.

Spiritual Warfare has hit me hard this semester, and I say this not to give glory to the enemy,
but instead to give glory to God because He has saved me and restored me and has given me tools to fight against it.

Yet, satan kept telling me what worthless crap I was doing.   If I studied, I didn't study hard enough.  If I was busy, I couldn't handle it.  He would whisper and say, "Kenady, ugh, you are horrible at managing time, and I can't believe you have to do you homework tomorrow during lunch, ugh that's so despicable" "Your parents aren't going to be proud of you, and God is not going to give you this many responsibilities ever again, because you obviously can't handle them"

After I was in this storm for a while, I couldn't sleep at night.  I was so stressed out, and I didn't know how to have victory over it for it seemed every time I got something done; I had more to do.  It was this never ending cycle of things to do and satan made me believe that my head was spinning and that there was no way out.

Then, satan started corrupting my view of God.  He started telling me that God wasn't pleased and I started seeing God more like a drill sergeant who couldn't be pleased rather than my loving father.

Yet, I was sitting in chapel on wednesday and the speaker told us that the most important thing about us is how we view God.  He also said that God could never be more pleased with you than He is right now, because as a Christian I am in Christ.  God loves his son more than ever, so therefore He loves me more than ever.

So, I would like to dispel the lies of Satan for a moment.

In Christ,

We are loved
We are the righteousness of God, that's right we are righteous
We are valuable, for the value of something is showed by what someone will pay for it.
Jesus died for us and we were bought with that price.
We are worth dying for.

God is so pleased with us.
He delights in us.
He sings over us.

He could never love me more and He could never love me less.

So, readers, let us walk throughout the day knowing that we don't have to earn God's pleasure, that He could never be more pleased.