You may have heard but I just wrapped up the world premiere production of my original musical, "Beyond Perfection." It had 9 performances in my lovely hometown of Grapevine, TX.
Many people have asked, how does it feel to see your work on its feet?
And to be quite honest, I still don't know how to feel. I've spent the last 2.5 years waiting for this moment, and I will spend more months waiting for Beyond Perfection to grace the big stage.
I've felt more emotions than can be described in a measly blog post, but I will try to express each one anyway.
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| Photo Cred: Antonio Thomas |
I've felt pure joy. There is nothing like getting to live in the world that you've created and getting to share that world with others. Writing can often be a lonely process. In the beginning, Chandler, Ainsley, and Aiden started as figments of my, and my fellow collaborators', imagination and slowly became my friends. I found myself seeing bits of them in my everyday life, and wanting to turn to my classmate or workmate and say "wow, that was such an Aiden thing to do?!" I would then soon realize that they don't know him. Now, they do. When we talk about the year 2020 at work, I can start rapping "2020 2020" and they get it. What an immense pleasure and joy that is.
I've felt pure gratitude. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it truly takes a community to raise a musical, and wow words cannot express the gratitude I feel for my community. My second parents came out of the woodwork to pray for me, buy and sell tickets, and perform acts of service. Friends came out to support me. Sponsors graciously bought ads for my programs and continuously went above and beyond to support my work. My team and crew stepped up, filled in and performed duties way beyond their job description. For all of this and so much more, I'm beyond grateful.
I've felt bravery and fear. They can coexist. If you know me or have read my blog before, you know that I struggle with fear, and I would be lying if I said this process was easy. It is purely terrifying to write. I've never been a parent, but all I know to compare this to is parenthood. When you write, you create something that is as much a part of you as it is a part from you. You care deeply about it, as it is your heart, and guts spilled out on the table for all to see. With this comes fear. But God who is rich in mercy gave me bravery. As a director, you are out of control because once the curtain goes up, you have to trust you've taught your actors what to do. As a writer, you are wondering if you've done enough. Is this the right draft? Is it finished? Will they like it? Will they get it? and I'm not sure if those questions go away. And with that, you stare fear in its face, and you have to continually make the choice to move forward to the next reading, next draft, next stage, and next show.
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| Photo Cred: Antonio Thomas |
I've felt grief. As mentioned earlier, a musical is like a child. You raise it and take care of it, and as it grows your role shifts and changes. Now, I feel like my child is 18 ready to go off to college. I'm still involved but not nearly as involved as I was year one. I'm ready for it to be shaped by other production companies, directors, producers...etc. As I'm happy that it's ready to be launched into the world, as well as having an empty house so to speak, I'm also sad because Beyond Perfection has been my world for a long time. I'm not saying that I'm leaving Beyond Perfection by any means. I will continue the work, but it will be in a new territory. I also grieve the absence of the precious friends I've made along the way. The actors, the collaborators, the teammates, the family, the friends.
Lastly, I'm dumbfounded and awestruck. I can't believe that my musical was seen by over 400 people. I can't believe I had 17 actors that bought in. Actors that loved my story, loved my music. Actors that were writing fan fiction backstage, and using my songs as audition songs. I'm dumbfounded that I found a stage manager, Harper Hadley, that helped with everything from sound, to set, to costumes, to props. I can't believe a critic came to review my play and liked it. I can't list all the miraculous things that happened, but I'm dumbfounded that time and time again when I didn't know what to do or when I felt it was all over, God provided a way, and I hope that I will be dumbfounded and awestruck for a long time to come.
--About 450 people attended.
--The Soundtrack and merch was bought
--John Garcia's The Column published an amazing review by Holly Reed
--Audiences came from all over to see the show
--Audiences raved about it and came to argue with the critic
--Actors were touched by the story
--The story moved people to tears
--The message touched many others
So what's Beyond Beyond Perfection?
--I hope to take Beyond Perfection to another stage, whether that be a local theatre company, professional theatre company, or Off-Broadway. I will keep you posted
--Stay tuned for the album release on iTunes, Spotify, and other online distributors.
--I will be working on two more musicals. The next a musical adaption of "The Scarlet Letter" with Christine Hand Jones
--I also will be releasing a worship EP focusing on the topic of Anxiety in the months to come.
Thank you to everyone that came to see the show, and supported in any way. This experience will always be close to my heart. I can't say it was perfection, but if you'll humor one more, I can say it was truly Beyond Perfection.
