Let us Not Forget to Remember: God is good, when life is not.

Sometimes when you watch the news or even scroll through facebook, it is easy to get discouraged. Sometimes it feels like the world is falling apart, and maybe it is.

In my personal life, one of best friends in high school passed away. It had been a while since we were close, but it was a grief I've never experienced before. As 16-year-olds, we talked about death a lot. Maybe we were realists, but I think it had something to do with the reality of our relationship with the Lord. We were beginning to understand that life, real life, was to be with God, and so death was something that brought us into a truer version of life.

And even though I know she's dancing at the feet of Jesus, and experiencing true joy and freedom right now, you can't help but ask why?  She was 24 years old. She had plans and dreams for the future.  You also think of the people she left behind. She married her boyfriend in the hospital mere days before she died. Life isn't good right now, not good at all.

Not to mention the day she died there was also a mass shooting in El Paso. Life didn't seem good. I'm not trying to minimize the good because I'm beyond blessed, but death gives us a perspective and frames our life in a way that is hard to shake.

This world is broken. There is depravity and hatred. There is so much we can't understand. Why would someone shoot so many people? Why would a 24-year-old die from cancer? We get so broken and lost that we will search for anything to blame. We blame the government, we blame the location, the security, the people around us. We can't explain it, no matter what we do. 

The only way to explain it is sin. We live in a fallen and broken world with a bunch of fallen broken people. How could it not be crazy?

But God is still good?

Yes, because God came down into this messy stupid world because He loved us, and died for us and because of that he claimed victory over sin and death.

He's won!

Death was arrested. 

But how can that be? I just attended a funeral. I very much know that death is a reality. 

We are in the already and not yet phase of this beautiful story the Lord is writing. God has won, but He hasn't come back to claim his earth.  We've had D-day but no V-day.

So, that is why we can sing and shout that we are free and death was arrested, even at a funeral.

Life doesn't make sense, because it shouldn't. It's already but not yet. God is good, even when life isn't.

So what do we do?

We hope and long for the day of victory. We enjoy the good things in the world because they are glimmers of what is to come in the future, and we pray our loved ones get to see heaven too.

What's Beyond Beyond Perfection?---Reflection and Report

You may have heard but I just wrapped up the world premiere production of my original musical, "Beyond Perfection." It had 9 performances in my lovely hometown of Grapevine, TX. 

Many people have asked, how does it feel to see your work on its feet?

And to be quite honest, I still don't know how to feel.  I've spent the last 2.5 years waiting for this moment, and I will spend more months waiting for Beyond Perfection to grace the big stage.

I've felt more emotions than can be described in a measly blog post, but I will try to express each one anyway.

Photo Cred: Antonio Thomas

I've felt pure joy. There is nothing like getting to live in the world that you've created and getting to share that world with others. Writing can often be a lonely process. In the beginning, Chandler, Ainsley, and Aiden started as figments of my, and my fellow collaborators', imagination and slowly became my friends. I found myself seeing bits of them in my everyday life, and wanting to turn to my classmate or workmate and say "wow, that was such an Aiden thing to do?!" I would then soon realize that they don't know him. Now, they do. When we talk about the year 2020 at work, I can start rapping "2020 2020" and they get it. What an immense pleasure and joy that is.

I've felt pure gratitude. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it truly takes a community to raise a musical, and wow words cannot express the gratitude I feel for my community.  My second parents came out of the woodwork to pray for me, buy and sell tickets, and perform acts of service.  Friends came out to support me.  Sponsors graciously bought ads for my programs and continuously went above and beyond to support my work.  My team and crew stepped up, filled in and performed duties way beyond their job description. For all of this and so much more, I'm beyond grateful.

I've felt bravery and fear. They can coexist. If you know me or have read my blog before, you know that I struggle with fear, and I would be lying if I said this process was easy.  It is purely terrifying to write. I've never been a parent, but all I know to compare this to is parenthood. When you write, you create something that is as much a part of you as it is a part from you. You care deeply about it, as it is your heart, and guts spilled out on the table for all to see.  With this comes fear.  But God who is rich in mercy gave me bravery.  As a director, you are out of control because once the curtain goes up, you have to trust you've taught your actors what to do.  As a writer, you are wondering if you've done enough. Is this the right draft? Is it finished? Will they like it? Will they get it? and I'm not sure if those questions go away.  And with that, you stare fear in its face, and you have to continually make the choice to move forward to the next reading, next draft, next stage, and next show.

Photo Cred: Antonio Thomas

I've felt grief. As mentioned earlier, a musical is like a child. You raise it and take care of it, and as it grows your role shifts and changes.  Now, I feel like my child is 18 ready to go off to college. I'm still involved but not nearly as involved as I was year one. I'm ready for it to be shaped by other production companies, directors, producers...etc.   As I'm happy that it's ready to be launched into the world, as well as having an empty house so to speak, I'm also sad because Beyond Perfection has been my world for a long time. I'm not saying that I'm leaving Beyond Perfection by any means. I will continue the work, but it will be in a new territory.  I also grieve the absence of the precious friends I've made along the way. The actors, the collaborators, the teammates, the family, the friends.

Lastly, I'm dumbfounded and awestruck.  I can't believe that my musical was seen by over 400 people. I can't believe I had 17 actors that bought in. Actors that loved my story, loved my music. Actors that were writing fan fiction backstage, and using my songs as audition songs. I'm dumbfounded that I found a stage manager, Harper Hadley, that helped with everything from sound, to set, to costumes, to props. I can't believe a critic came to review my play and liked it.  I can't list all the miraculous things that happened, but I'm dumbfounded that time and time again when I didn't know what to do or when I felt it was all over, God provided a way, and I hope that I will be dumbfounded and awestruck for a long time to come. 

So, I promised a report. Here it is...

--About 450 people attended.
--The Soundtrack and merch was bought
--John Garcia's The Column published an amazing review by Holly Reed
--Audiences came from all over to see the show
--Audiences raved about it and came to argue with the critic
--Actors were touched by the story
--The story moved people to tears
--The message touched many others

So what's Beyond Beyond Perfection?

--I hope to take Beyond Perfection to another stage, whether that be a local theatre company, professional theatre company, or Off-Broadway. I will keep you posted

--Stay tuned for the album release on iTunes, Spotify, and other online distributors.

--I will be working on two more musicals. The next a musical adaption of "The Scarlet Letter" with Christine Hand Jones

--I also will be releasing a worship EP focusing on the topic of Anxiety in the months to come.

Thank you to everyone that came to see the show, and supported in any way. This experience will always be close to my heart. I can't say it was perfection, but if you'll humor one more, I can say it was truly Beyond Perfection.